


Downfall

by VivianKai



Series: Infinity War: Aftermath [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Depends on how you want to view their relationship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sad with a Happy Ending, Sibling Bonding, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VivianKai/pseuds/VivianKai
Summary: Contain spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War Part 1."Stop it!" Loki hated it. Thor's screams of agony are ringing in his ears. Thanos has made his statement clear --- it is either the Tesseract or Thor's life. Loki didn't want to give in. He wanted to believe in the vow his brother had made to him. Thor would never die on a battlefield. Yet, seeing his pained expression, Loki's belief is crashed. He tried to appear calm. But his voice trembled. Especially when he is starting to become concerned for Thor's safety.First Chapter: English Ver.Second Chapter: 中文版





	1. English Ver.

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** I haven't watch Infinity War yet. So, what I wrote is what I imagine with the spoilers I had read. If there are mistakes, feels free to tell me about it. **_Politely._** Rude comments would be ignored then be deleted. I had just try cope writing a few days ago since I know about Loki's death. This is actually a combination of two one-shots I had written for this pair: 雷的降落 and 家. P.S: They are both in Chinese. I might try to translate them into English someday. Also, I don't know how should I tag this story. How you view their relationship depended on yourself.

Love requires sacrifice,  
But it’s worth it.

* * *

When Thanos grabbed Thor's head in a bone-crushing grip, Loki's heart skips a beat. Centuries ago, when he was a child, Loki dreamed about Thor dying in the hand of a strong enemy. But Thor would comfort him. He would make promises of how the nightmare would never happen because he would train hard and become stronger than everyone.

As a naive child, Loki had believed in Thor's vow. His brother would never lie to him. Besides, Thor is strong. There are only a few people in Asgard who could match up with his strength.

However, the nightmare which haunted Loki as a child happened right in front of himself.

In the years he grew up next to Thor, Loki always feels like he is living under his brother's shadow. But he worked hard to become someone who could stand beside Thor.

He only wanted Thor's acknowledgment. And finally, he had received it.

All through the years, they have experienced a lot.

Jealousy.  
Betrayal.  
Loss.

With all the sins he committed, Loki had started to believe he couldn't recover his broken bond with his brother.

Odin's death and Hela's arrival allowed the two of them to fix their broken bond.

Finally, they are starting to acknowledge each other.  
Finally, they are walking on the same path again.

And yet, their world is now crumbling down.

"Stop it!" Loki hated it. Thor's screams of agony are ringing in his ears. Thanos has made his statement clear --- it is either the Tesseract or Thor's life.

Loki didn't want to give in. He wanted to believe in the vow his brother had made to him. Thor would never die on a battlefield. Yet, seeing his pained expression, Loki's belief is crashed.

He tried to appear calm. But his voice trembled. Especially when he is starting to become concerned for Thor's safety.

 _'Loki...?'_ Thor's vision is getting blurry. However, Loki's safety is his priority. Thor didn't want to predict the worst possibility. But, he is worried that Loki would do something foolish to drift Thano's attention from him.

No.  
He can't lose his brother.  
He had already lost Loki twice.

_'Please...! Loki, please don't do anything foolish!'_

"... you can have it." Loki stretched his hand out, showing the glowing blue cube.  He hated how sentimental he had become. When his gaze met with Thanos, he isn't scared. The determination glowed in the pair of emerald eyes, reflecting Loki's dedication - his resolve to keep Thor safe.

* * *

Loss of a loved one  
Is the worst thing anyone can handle.

* * *

In the past, Loki always went to Thor when he woke up from his nightmare. The reason is simple. He didn't want to bother their mother. And Thor didn't mind to become his comforter. He would hold on one of Loki's hands and intertwine their fingers together. Then, Thor would pull his brother into his arms. With his other hand, he would caress Loki's hair.

He would always make vows to Loki. They are promises such as, _'I am here. I would chase away your bad dreams. So, sleep in peace, brother.'_

Under his firm assurance, Loki will always sleep in peace.

However, physical comfort is not going to work this time. Thor's hand shook as he reached down. He stroked Loki's hair, just like how he had done many times in the past. Whenever he did so, Loki had always smiled with a look of joy and relief.  

But now, Loki's pale face is frozen with pain and his last second of fear. His body feels cold. The beautiful pair of emerald green eyes that had looked at Thor with mischief now stared out blankly.

Thor shook his head. He refused to accept the horrible truth. But the stench of blood filling his nose said otherwise. Thor grabbed up Loki's body, cradling it in his arms.

"Why...?" He asked softly, tilting Loki's chin up. With his thumb, he wiped the blood from the corner of his brother's lips.

The memory of Loki falling into the abyss and being killed in the hands of Algrim flashed in his mind.

He failed on Loki again.  
He couldn't protect his brother.  
He witnessed Thanos torturing Loki to death.

He trained so hard.  
He promised Loki.  
He had made a vow to his brother.

No matter what, he would protect the one he loves.

But in the end, he had failed to do so.

Thor let out an enraged roar. The blob of tears finally broke out of his eye, shedding like a waterfall. The vulnerability of finally accepting the terrible truth, his heart was ripped to pieces.

* * *

 _‘What more could I lose?’_ \---- Thor Odinson in Infinity War 2018

* * *

Thor pulled up his boot. His eye stared out without emotions. Darkness gleamed behind Thor's blank stare. His brows tightened as he stomped down his foot.

"I am going with you." Steve, who is concerned about Thor's condition, voiced out. It is pointless to try and stop the God of Thunder. But, as a friend, Steve can't let Thor walk on the road of self-sacrifice.

"That is unwise," Thor said in a stoic tone. He didn't turn around and look at Steve. He knew the man is approaching him by the sounds of his heavy footsteps.

"You can't go alone," Steve argued. "It is impossible to defeat Thanos just by yourself. You will get yourself killed."

"I can do this on my own. I am a God." Thor slammed down his boot. Then, he glared over his shoulder. "Who is going to keep the minors safe if you are not around?"

"Who is going to watch over you?" Steve furrowed his brows. He understands how painful it is, to watch a loved one dying in front of yourself. Bucky dissipated into thin air in front of him. Does Thor think he felt any better than him? "Look at yourself, Thor. You are heavily injured. I don't know how much it takes to kill a God. But I know you shouldn't go back in the war with these wounds. You could die!"

"What more could I lose?" Thor's good eye started to shed with tears. Pain gleamed in the blue hue. "My people were killed. Loki died in front of me. There is nothing left for me to fear the death."

After witnessing Loki's death, this was Thor ever since that day. His tears had dried up. He had lost his hopes. It hurt to be the only survivor. The memories of the massacre haunted him. A few people had noticed his changes, and it wasn't a good sign. They feared that because of what happened to Loki, Thor might have lost his will to live.

But despite the worries, Thor could assure his friends that he won't go on a suicidal road. Not until he makes sure he killed Thanos.

He wasn't there at the moment when Loki needed him the most. It is Thor's greatest remorse. He didn't know how Loki survived when he falls into the abyss. But Thor had slowly come to understand the cause of his brother's extreme change of behavior after meeting Thanos.

He is not a good elder brother. He should have try and search for Loki. He shouldn't have lost his hope. He should have come to Loki's aid when he met Thanos.

But he had not done any of those. He had destroyed Loki's trust on him. It is no wonder his brother despise him when they meet at Midgard.

There are so many experiences Thor wanted to share with Loki. He also wanted to apologize for the cruel words he said to Loki when he was angry. Thor didn't have the chance to show his apology sincerely. However, his greatest regret is that he didn't tell Loki how much he loves him.

When had they started to grow distant to each other? In the past, Thor and Loki are always together. They would prank the servants and go on adventures together. When they are young and innocent, both of the siblings didn't feel embarrassed to declare their love for each other.

Every time Thor isn’t keeping his hands busy with something, he would think about Loki and see a phantom of memories. For a second, one blissful moment, Thor swear he could see Loki. The tricky brother of his would smirk at him sinisterly, attempting to pull a prank on him. But when Thor blinked his eyes, Loki would be gone from his sight.

He has lost everything. Everyone he cared for is gone. Everyone had sacrificed themselves to make sure he survived.

So often, Thor would think about joining everyone on the other side of the world. But he couldn't do it right now. The sacrifices will be in vain if he attempts suicide at this moment. He has to kill Thanos with his own hands. He needed to make sure the man paid for what he had done to his people and Loki.

Then, he would welcome the death with open arms.

Even if it means he has to be stabbed by his brother several times when he arrived in Valhalla and yelling at him for wasting his sacrifice.

* * *

 ' _If you are here, I might give you a hug.’_

_‘I’m here.’_

\---- Thor: Ragnarok 2017

* * *

Thor heard it. It was a small whisper of surprise from Banner. But he heard it loud and clear.

_'Loki?'_

Quickly, Thor looked over his shoulder. His eyes widened in surprise as Loki walked out from a magic portal. Behind the trickster are the survived Asgardians.

When Loki noticed Thor's stare on him, he cracked a playful smile.

"Are you surprised, my brother?"

Thor couldn't believe his eye. He bends down and picked up a medium sized stone. Then, he throws it towards Loki.

_**Thunk!** _

When the stone hit Loki on the head, the sound is loud and clear.

"Do you have to use the same tactic all the time?" Loki rolled his eyes. "Or is this your gratitude when I had protected most of our people from Thanos's attack?"

The person standing in front of him is real.  
He is not an illusion.

Those are the only thoughts which came to Thor's mind. When he snapped out of his stupor, he bolted towards Loki. Thor held his brother's face in his palms, studying the features of his face.

Loki winced in pain when Thor accidentally pressed on his wound. However, he didn't push his brother away. Instead, he allowed Thor to examine every feature of his face, making sure he isn't an imposter.

Loki is alive.  
His brother is alive.  
And so are their people.

Thor threw his arms around Loki, crushing his younger brother in his embrace.

Between the two of them, Thor was always the more emotional one. He is the first to laugh, the first to show grief, the first to suggest a grand party, the first to lash out in anger.

Rarely did Thor cry, but he is close to it now.

"You are here," He buried his head in Loki's shoulder, taking in the familiar scent. He isn't dreaming. His little brother is alive and standing in front of him. "You are honestly here, Loki..."

Since they were teenagers, Loki had started to reject the solid display of affection from Thor. It is embarrassing, especially when people are watching them. However, this time, he couldn't harden his heart to do so.

Slowly, Loki replied the hug. He wrapped his arms around Thor's neck, closing the small gap between them.

Maybe, he had craved this embrace just like Thor. Loki won't admit it in public, but his heart feels warm when his brother tightened his grip on him.

Thor is scared. Loki could sense it. He is worried that this is a dream. He is fearing that his brother would slip out of his grip again.

Loki is surprised that he survives. He knew it is risky to try and attack Thanos. But he needed the distraction to replace the injured Asgardians with his illusions. He almost dies in the process. Thankfully, Thor's horrified reaction had distracted Thanos.

They are so close to losing each other again. But they survive. And now, they have finally reunited again.

"I'm here."

Suppressed sobs finally break out. Thor has his limits. Under the sincere assurance from Loki, the strong barrier which Thor created shatter.

He didn't cry when his parents die. But the thought of not losing Loki caused Thor's bottled emotions to burst out.

Loki has never seen Thor in such a fragile state. He is disgusted by the snots and tears which are starting to stain his shirt. However, he allowed Thor to bury himself in his embrace.

This time, just this time, Loki decided that he will pick up the role as an older sibling. Thor had been suffocating himself with his emotions all along. He deserved to pour out the bottled feelings.

* * *

" _I promise you, brother, the light will shine on us again”_ \---- Loki Odinson in Infinity War 2018

* * *

_**fin.** _

 


	2. 中文版

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 有剧透。“住手！” 洛基很讨厌这样。索尔痛苦的叫声在他耳边作响。萨诺斯把他的条件说的很明显。 洛基只能选一个，交出天空之石或者眼睁睁看着他的哥哥丧命。洛基不想放弃。他希望自己能坚持相信他哥哥向他誓下的承诺。索尔很强，他不会死在战场上的。可是，当洛基看到了索尔痛苦的表情，他的坚持破没了。他试着表现的冷静。可是，他的声音颤抖了。尤其是当他开始为索尔的安危担心。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **警告：** 本人未看过复仇者联盟3：无限战争。一切都是看了剧透然后自己脑朴。如果看到跟英文版有类似不同的地方，其实是我为了保持最原始，最初次写这文的感受。

爱情是需要贡献，  
但是，它是值得的。

* * *

当萨诺斯将索尔的头捏的紧紧时，洛基的心跳差点停止了。数百年前，当他还是个孩子的时候，洛基梦见索尔被一个很强的对手给杀了。可是索尔都会安慰他。他的哥哥总会跟他承诺，‘这个噩梦是不会发生的的。因为，我会努力的锻炼并且变得比任何人都强。’

做为一个天真的孩子，洛基相信了索尔的诺言。他的哥哥不会欺骗他的。而且，索尔很强。在阿斯加德里，只有一小部分的人能够敌过他的哥哥。

可是，这个儿时的噩梦正在洛基眼前发生。

跟着索尔成长的过程中，洛基永远觉得自己生活在哥哥的影子里。可是，他很努力的想要成为一个能够站在索尔旁边的人。

他只是想得到索尔的默认。而终于，他得到了。

这么多年来，他们经历了很多。

妒忌  
背叛  
失去

洛基知道他犯了很多罪。他也开始相信自己是无法弥补他们兄弟之间的感情。

奥丁的死，以及海拉的到来使得他俩开始接纳彼此。

终于，他们开始默认对方的存在。  
终于，他们又走在了同一个正道上。

可是，他们的世界就在此被消灭了。

“住手！” 洛基很讨厌这样。索尔痛苦的叫声在他耳边作响。萨诺斯把他的条件说的很明显。 洛基只能选一个，交出天空之石或者眼睁睁看着他的哥哥丧命。

洛基不想放弃。他希望自己能坚持相信他哥哥向他誓下的承诺。索尔很强，他不会死在战场上的。可是，当洛基看到了索尔痛苦的表情，他的坚持破没了。

他试着表现的冷静。可是，他的声音颤抖了。尤其是当他开始为索尔的安危担心。

 _‘洛基。。。？’_ 索尔的视线开始变得很模糊。可是，现在，洛基的安危可是索尔最在意的。他不想设想最坏的结果。可是，他还是很担心自己的弟弟会做些愚蠢的事情来引开萨诺斯的注意力。

不。  
他不能失去他弟弟。  
他已经失去洛基两次了。

_‘拜托了。。。！洛基，拜托你别做傻事啊！’_

“。。。拿去吧。” 洛基将手伸出。他的手掌里是一颗发光的蓝色方块。洛基痛狠自己变得如此情绪化。当他眼神跟灭霸对上时，他没有退缩。果断的眼神里体现出他的奉献---他要保护索尔的决心。

* * *

失去了自己所爱的人，  
是最难接受的痛苦。

* * *

从以前开始，每当洛基发噩梦，他都会去找索尔。原因很简单，他不希望打扰他们的母亲。而且，索尔并不在意当自己弟弟的安抚者。他总会握着洛基的手并把他们的手指交叉在一起。然后，索尔会将弟弟抱紧怀里。用另外的手，他会轻轻的抚摸洛基的头发。

每一次，索尔都会向洛基做承诺。他的承诺永远是 _：“我在这。我会将你的噩梦赶走。所以，安心的睡吧，弟弟。”_

在他的安抚下，洛基都会睡的很安心。

可是，这一次，索尔的方法不在管用。当索尔把手伸出去，他颤抖了。他轻轻的抚摸洛基的头发，就像他一起经常会做的一样。每当他这么做，洛基都会笑得很开心。

可是，洛基的脸上没有一丝的安息。英俊的脸蛋上显示了洛基最后一刻的恐惧以及疼痛。那双经常对着索尔表达坏意的美丽翠绿色眼睛现在一片空白。

索尔无法接受这残酷事实。可是， 鲜血的腥味冲鼻而来。索尔将洛基的身体抱去。

‘为什么。。。？’ 他轻轻的问道。他将洛基的脸颊温柔的抬起，心疼的把弟弟脸上的血給抹掉。

洛基掉入深渊里以及被捅死的记忆在索尔的脑海里浮现出。

他又失败了  
他无法保护弟弟  
他眼睁睁看着

他那么的努力锻炼  
他答应了洛基  
他可是向弟弟示下了承诺

无论如何，他都会保护自己所爱的人

可是，最终，他失败了。

索尔愤怒的大吼。眼泪从眼睛里不停的流出。接受这个残酷的事实是多么的痛苦。他的心已经被撕裂了。

* * *

“我还能失去什么？”---索尔奥丁之子，复仇者联盟3：无限战争

* * *

索尔将靴子拉紧。他的脸上只有严峻的严肃。他的眼睛失去了原有的光芒。当他把靴子穿好时，他大力的踱了踱脚。

"我跟你去，”史蒂夫不放心的说到。美国队长知道自己不能够阻止雷神想去战斗的愤怒。可是，做为朋友，他是不能让失去理智的索尔去战斗。  

“你不能跟，”索尔严肃的说到。他并没有往后看，因为他能清楚的听到史蒂夫正慢慢的走向自己. 

“你不能一个人去，”史蒂夫说到。“只凭你自己是打不过萨诺斯的。你这是去送死。”       

 “我能做到，我可是雷神。”索尔踱了踱另外一只绑好的靴子。然后，他看向史蒂夫。“如果你不在，谁能保护好凡人们？"

“那谁又能够看着你？！”史蒂夫无奈的反驳。他知道索尔心里很痛苦，尤其是当他看到自己最爱的人死在他眼前。巴基可是在他面前消失的无影无终。难道索尔认为他会感到比索尔好吗？“兄弟，你看看你自己。你有重伤在身。你不能回去那里。你会死的！”     

“我还能失去什么？”眼泪开始从眼里流出。漂亮的蓝色眼睛里能看到他的疼痛。“我失去了家人和一切。我已经不怕死亡了。”

作为唯一的幸存者太痛苦了。而如果他将死在这场战斗中，他绝对会让萨诺斯付出代价的。

当索尔调理好自己的情绪时，他开始决定他一定要坚强的打完这一战。他一定要为洛基报复。

没能在洛基最需要他的时候保护他是索尔心里的最大耻辱。当他弟弟跌入黑洞里，他没有拼全力去找到并且保护他。他不知道洛基面临了什么或吃了多少苦。但是，他知道弟弟性格上的突然改变是受萨诺斯的折磨而发生的。

索尔知道，以前的他不是好哥哥。他应该试着寻找洛基。他不应该放弃。作为哥哥，他应该在灭霸折磨他弟弟前赶到并且保护他。

可是他没能做到这些。  
他也让洛基彻底对他失望。

他有好多话想对洛基说。有好多好多事情想和那调皮可爱的弟弟分享。他想向洛基说对不起，因为他曾经对他说了好多过分的话。

而索尔最后悔的，就是他好久没跟弟弟说“我爱你”。

是从何时开始，他们开始远离彼此。

是从何时开始，爱的告白变得如此难表达。

每当索尔放下手上的事情时，他就会想到洛基。他也会开始回忆起从前。就在那一刻，那幸福的一秒，索尔坚决肯定他能看到洛基站在他面前。

那个爱搞恶作剧的弟弟会对他坏笑，此图跟他玩个恶趣味的玩笑。

可是，当索尔眨眼的时候，洛基就会从他眼前消失。

母亲，父亲，锤子，他的朋友，阿斯加德的人民以及他唯一的弟弟… 他们都不在了。

因为他的懦弱，他们都死了。

索尔有想过去永恒。可是现在的他还不能去。每个人对他的付出会白费的。他必须先把事情解决。他必须让灭霸得到他应有的惩罚。

然后，他会向死亡张开双手。也许，当他到永恒时，他就能看到弟弟了。

就算挨弟弟骂又被捅肾也值得。

* * *

"如果你在这里，我会给你一个拥抱的。”  
“我就在这。”  
\--- 雷神索爾3：諸神黃昏（2017）

* * *

有人叫了洛基的名字。而当时，索尔从思想中清醒了。那个他熟悉不得的名字让他立刻转身。天空蓝的眼睛睁大了。洛基从一个魔法户口走了出来。而在洛基的后面则是存活的阿斯加德的人民。洛基看起来被伤的不轻，可是那些丑陋的伤口已经被包扎好了。

当洛基看到索尔紧盯着的目光，恶作剧之神露出了滑稽的微笑。

“Surprise…?”

索尔不敢相信他的眼睛。从角落捡起来个石头便往洛基丢。当石头砸到洛基时，一声清脆的'咚!'可以被听到。洛基只说了一声'嗷'，然后恨盯着索尔看。

“难道你每次都得这样？”洛基不耐烦的问到。“还是说，这就是你对伟大的救世主的感恩？我可是保护了所有阿斯加德的幸存者啊！”

他是真的。  
他不是幻影。

这是唯一在索尔脑袋里所能了解到的。索尔冲向洛基并把弟弟的脸握在手掌里。洛基因为脸上的伤无意被压到并嘶了一声。可是他并没把哥哥推到。索尔仔细的看着洛基的脸，寻找着冒牌货的痕迹。

他是活的。  
洛基是活的。  
阿斯加德的人民也是。

索尔用双手把洛基抱的紧紧。在兄弟之间，索尔永远是比较敏感的那位。他永远都是第一个大笑，第一个哀怨，第一个提出开派对以及第一个愤怒的。可是，就算是比较敏感的那位，索尔很少哭泣。

“你在这…(You are here...)”索尔把头埋在洛基的肩膀上。熟悉的体味让他感到这一切都不是梦。他没做梦。洛基还活着，并且就在他眼前。“你真的在这…(You are really here.)”

通常，傲娇的本性似的洛基拒绝任何相似的举动。这太丢脸了，尤其是当这里还有一群多管闲事的蚂蚁在看着他。可这次，他恨不下心推开索尔。慢慢的，他回复了索尔的拥抱。

也许 **\---只是也许--** -就像索尔，他也很渴望这个拥抱。他不会承认，但他心里感到暖和。尤其是当索尔加紧的揉抱他。索尔的举动就像是害怕他会从他怀里消失掉。

在面对灭霸的时候，洛基还是很担心自己是否能够带着大量的阿斯加德的存活者安全的离开。当时的他可是冒着危险去面对灭霸并且确保索尔是安全的。也许，他还得感谢灭霸没有发现他设下的幻影。

 他们差一点就要失去彼此。  
但他俩都存活了。而且，他们终于又在一起了。

“我就在这。(I'm here.)”

被压制的哭泣终于爆发了。就算索尔再这么开朗，他还是有自己的底线。在洛基真诚的安抚下，索尔为自己建设的墙被打碎了。欧丁的死也没让他如此流泪。可是，当他知道唯一的亲人，自己的宝贝弟弟还活着的时候，这多年来的压抑终于还是裂开了。

洛基没看过索尔如此脆落的一面。就算衣服被鼻涕以及泪水弄湿让洛基感到恶心，他还是决定放过索尔这一次。

哥哥已经追着他跑好几年了。每一次，索尔都会祈求他走回正道。他永远都会给自己调皮的弟弟机会。而且，就算洛基不听话，他还是会用自己的方法去爱他，以及保护他。这一次 **\--就这一次---** 洛基决定坑起做哥哥的责任，并且让索尔能够把自己按压多年的悲伤发泄出来。

* * *

“我答应你，哥哥，阳光会再次照射我们的。” --- 洛基奥丁之子，复仇者联盟3：无限战争

* * *

  **完**

 


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